Some Parents…Grown-up Kids

An assortment of mashed vegetables & mild Indian spices simmered in a large wok. Sheetal stirred it occasionally while cleaning up the kitchen counter. Lastly, she turned off the stove & sprinkled freshly chopped coriander leaves on the bhaji. She invigilated the house to check if the living area was intact or her son had managed to leave legos on the floor or any scattered toys on the sofa. Kanika called for Sheetal from the kitchen, "How many neighbours are you expecting?" Sheetal replied, "I have invited ten of them; at least eight should turn up." Kanika poured half a litre of milk into a vessel & set it on the stove to boil. She announced, "Why don't you go get dressed up? I'll wind up the last of the tasks." Sheetal agreed & rushed for a quick make-over.

Meanwhile, Kanika set up the kitchen on serve mode. She cut up the pav (Indian bread), readied bowls & spoons to serve pumpkin halwa, cups for chai & everything else. Once Sheetal returned to check in the kitchen, Kanika removed the apron & went about to set her sari right. Once the ladies were satisfied with the sari drape, hairdo & makeup, they settled on the sofa & waited for the guests. As the sun was setting, women draped in colourful saris occupied the living room. Sheetal introduced her friend Kanika to the neighbours. Once they exchanged pleasantries, all the ladies got busy shifting places & poses. They clicked enough solo & group pictures for social media. While the ladies continued with the photoshoot, Kanika & Sheetal got busy in the kitchen.

Kanika heated the bhaji & toasted pav on a hot pan smeared with butter. Sheetal set the plate & served it to the guests. As all the ladies settled with a plate each, the conversation jumped around kids. A young lady in a red chiffon sari stated, "When my son started school, I could juggle work, home & his studies. Now it is not possible at all; I had to quit work. Level 2 is so hard on him." Kanika was in awe of the lady, to have put her career on hold for the child. The sacrifices of a mother were unparallel. The lady continued, "Next year, I have to send him to tuition for languages." Kanika's eyebrows knotted, "Languages in professional courses?" Her puzzled eyes looked for Sheetal; unfortunately, she was at the far end of the room.

A lady in a peach soft silk sari added, "Yeah, languages are tough for kids. My daughter is struggling to learn two languages." Kanika balanced her snack plate in her right hand & scratched her head with her left. She couldn't understand, "Why do college-going kids have to struggle with languages?" She kept quiet, chewed on the pav-bhaji & listened intently. The peach lady continued, "After level 2, are you considering changing school for the first standard?" Kanika choked, "What? Level 2 is Upper Kindergarten?" Now she realised, "Why the red lady looked way too young to be a mother to a teenage kid." Kanika sipped some water & tried to swallow the information than the snack.

As the talk continued & the empty plates piled. Sheetal & Kanika carried them to the kitchen sink to dispense. Kanika enquired Sheetal, "What are they teaching in Upper Kindergarten that she has to quit job & teach the kid? Rocket science? What's the deal with tuitions in the first standard?" Sheetal smiled awkwardly; her answer was interrupted as someone else walked into the kitchen. Kanika reserved the conversation for later & helped Sheetal serve hot chai for the ladies.

The discussion had now moved to the fee structure. A lady in a green Kanchivaram remarked, "I hope they do not increase the fees this year too. We are paying a few lakhs & then there are additional expenses." The phrase "a few lakhs" seared Kanika's mind & hot tea her tongue. She set the cup on the table & leaned back with folded arms. Someone else added, "The school near the post office collects admission fees every year, and it is a lakh per student in cash." Kanika did quick mental math, "Each class has at least two sections, each section with a minimum of 30students. The school has classes 1 to 10; per year, the school collects 600Lakhs in cash! No wonder the latest large denomination pink notes are rarely sighted."

Kanika scanned the room, "These are contributors for white paper turning into black." She found it hard to understand, "Money has no value? Did school teach something extraordinary to charge exorbitantly? Was it a social status symbol? People have/make way too much money & don't know how to spend it? If they spend it all now, what about the savings for the future?" She did consider the economy, inflation & expense of running a massive institution required money. Still, the numbers did not add up. While Kanika's mind raced, she slowly sipped the slightly cooled tea. As the discussion continued, Kanika enquired, "What do they teach in schools that they charge a bomb?" Collectively the women proudly listed endless activities of sports, math olympian, school clubs, interschool competition & whatnot, apart from a syllabus that was way too much for the child for a particular age. Sheetal noticed Kanika's troubled look, which indicated, "How will these kids cope with it all?"

Kanika smirked & analyzed, "Why burden children with all this? Instead of asking children what interests them & nurturing it, parents were confusing themselves & the kids." One of the ladies added, "It's a competitive world out there. Kids have to know it all & prepare for everything." Kanika reflected, "If only an institution/course could teach that?" Then a quirky view crossed her mind, "When kids go through this onus & pressure at an early age, maybe they can handle life better." She snapped out of her train of thoughts. She stated, "We do hear stories of maid or autorickshaw driver's children topping school/college/competitive exams/civil services. Not all goto to such expensive educational institutions." The red lady instantly replied, "We can afford it, right?" Kanika thought, "Oh dear lord, they do not get it, do they?"

A lady in purple chanderi silk diverted the topic to school projects. She stated, "Apart from the regular school curriculum, events, sports & competitions projects are an overhead." Kanika smiled & added, "High school is tough with endless projects, assignments, laboratories & record books." The lady remarked, "Nowadays, projects start in primary school as kids cannot do it or meet the expectations. We end up doing." Kanika was confused, "These people pay truckloads & then do the project themselves? Where is the kid even benefitting from this?"

A confused Kanika enquired, "In that case, the project is for parents & not the kids?" The purple lady arrogantly replied, "My child comes home crying that other kids' projects were better. I cannot let her down in the eyes of her classmates and so compelled to do it." Kanika softly uttered, "So projects are for parents..." All the ladies nodded in unison. Kanika needed a drink that was stronger than tea now. She looked at the parents with pity for lacking awareness that they were only pressuring their kids & scarring them for life. She made eye contact with Sheetal & shook her head.

Kanika smiled & revealed, "Schools were not like this earlier. All these were unheard of in my student days. My entire education cost as much as your child's one-year education." The purple lady enquired with curiosity, "Where are you from?" Sheetal jumped with a reply, "She is a localite. She completed her education within a 10kms radius of this locality." The lady continued, "Where did u study?" Kanika replied, "Oh, I studied in a small school, it still runs & is one of the oldest schools in the locality. I'm glad my education wasn't so complicated. I did get to enjoy my childhood & can recollect only fun moments." Sheetal was the only one to detect the sarcasm in that statement.

The lady in red sari enquired, "I want to put my son into top school here. Since you are a localite, do you know how I can achieve it?" Kanika's inner voice said, "You are already torturing that kid; how much more can he take?" Instead, she politely responded, "I have no clue about the current situation of schools or admission process." A lady in a yellow Gadwal sari asked, "What's the best college?" Kanika replied, "Well, it depends on the course." She declared, "My son will take up only science. So tell me, which is the best one?" Kanika questioned, "Is he passing out this year?" She replied, "No, no, he is high school. I have to plan for it."

Kanika had to suppress her laugh, "Oh ho ho... The work projects planned using tools & technology get derailed. Your son has entered high school now & you are already planning. You are in for a hell of a surprise, lady." While Kanika's mind raced with views & laughs, the yellow lady waited for the response. Kanika stated, "As I said, I do not know the latest updates on any educational institutions." The yellow lady smirked & turned away. Kanika excused herself to get some water. In the kitchen, she told Sheetal, "Do keep a tab on this yellow lady's son. I want to know how she will make him take the course she wants." Sheetal & Kanika giggled & walked back to the ladies' gang.

The yellow lady continued, "Admissions are so competitive in colleges; it all depends on the school results. Some schools are doing well, especially the one near the post office after the management changed." Kanika almost spat the water, "What? The school that effortlessly makes 600Lakhs per year? Why do they pass such statements when I'm trying to consume something." All the ladies nodded & discussed the results of their's kids' school. Kanika asked, "What do you mean by the school is doing good?" The yellow lady stated, "The management & school teachers ensure the results are cent percent." Kanika replied, "Yeah, right! It is all the efforts & dedication of management, staff & teachers. Kids have no contribution."

Take Away:

• When a child is determined to study & score, they do it without an expensive institute/coaching class/external source/force to motivate them to achieve it.

• Hard-earned money to be invested for the future (kid's higher education, retirement life, or medical expenses) than splurge on institutes.

• Some parents (grown-up kids) continue to be in their childhood school competition mindset.