Beer Banter

The rooftop restaurant provided a view of once a beautiful city filled with greenery & now a concrete jungle. The altitude maintained the traffic noise & the bustling of people at a minimum while the wind blew mercilessly. Pearls of condensed water vapour rolled down a couple of steins. The duo at the table picked up the steins, bumped them & unanimously expressed, "Cheers." After a sip, one of the occupants at the table exclaimed, "Chilled beer on a Saturday afternoon is heavenly." The other occupant sipped & nodded a 'yes'. As a tradition, both reached out for a cigarette & lit it up. A few drags got the nicotine to kick in & set the mood.

The techie remarked, "I had one hell of a week at work. I'm glad you called to meet up; this was a much-needed break." The other occupant agreed, "Oh! Don't even get me started. I had a similar experience. I ran pillar to post this week for paperwork. Then from one court compound to another. I must have lost a couple of kilos." The techie responded, "Thankfully, paperwork in my industry is all soft copy. It all happens in a few keystrokes & clicks." The lawyer commented, "That is so convenient & easy. You do not have to face the traffic, heat, pollution & spend time commuting. Also, no aching body caused by physical stress."

The techie stated, "That's the only easy part. A daily marathon of meetings accompanied by a nagging boss & annoying client has the same effect. After all these years, I still do not understand how people can be so illogical & unreasonable in the techie world." The attorney choked on the last drag & sipped some beer to soothe the dried throat. The attorney exclaimed, "Oh, come on. You can prove your point through logic. I have to deal with people's conflict, emotional trauma & quite an amount of drama. It's all about people's reactions & how to handle them. Occurrence of unexpected events or at times random factors have adverse effects." The techie took a bite of a chicken wing & nodded in agreement.

The lawyer continued, "For instance, a client's spouse is tracking the movements of my client. My client is under a lot of distress, which has a domino effect on the case. How is it that the spouse is tracking without my client's knowledge?" The techie wiped the mouth with tissue & responded, "Techie market has several easily & readily available Spywares. Spywares are undetected as the icon doesn't show up & most phones are low on security. All the spouse requires is access to your client's phone & know the authentication pin. Also, every other application installed on mobile can track one's movements unless one disables those settings. Either spouse had the spyware installed or knows the user credentials logged in on applications." The lawyer chewed on the chicken wings & enquired, "So how do I help my client & put an end to this tracking business?"

The techie's eyebrows knotted & the lawyer assumed it was the beer's bitterness. The techie placed the stein on the table & articulated, "You have to understand that the techie world is vast. I'm into analytics, not into cyber security." The lawyer stated, "I assumed you did it all." The techie replied, "Oh god! No. Movies & series depict scenes as though, in 100 keystrokes, anyone can build or break a firewall. It doesn't work that way. It is similar to the movie scenes where a lawyer has a last-minute discovery or comes across a piece of unexpected evidence & saves the client."

The lawyer smirked & continued to sip the beer, which warmed quickly in the outdoor setting. The duo were on the third round of ale pints. The techie enquired, "Any other interesting case?" The lawyer stated, "Not a case, a client." The techie leaned forward, "Now that's a first. Tell me more..." The lawyer contemplated 'What & how much to share.' The buzzing techie, voiced in a higher pitch, "I know the client-lawyer privileges, be abstract but do share." The lawyer chewed the left cheek & worded, "A client is making moves at me." Techie rubbed the palms as though readying to crack the code. The techie leaned forward & enquired, "You never mentioned it before. When did this start?" The lawyer shrugged & replied, "It started after a few meetings. The client is more focused on making a pass at me than on the case. Can you believe that?"

The techie groaned, "Come on! It's only human. Also, look at you! Who wouldn't be interested in you? Anyways back to the client, good looking?" The lawyer nibbled on spicy pan-seared fish, nodded a 'yes' & uttered, "Hot". The techie's eye's popped & asked, "Do you have a picture?" The lawyer scrolled through the messaging application & showed a picture of the client. The techie exclaimed, "That's some hot property on the market." The lawyer only shrugged & munched on the appetisers at the table.

The intrigued techie continued with the interrogation, "Single?" The lawyer cringed & replied, "Recently, yes." Now the conversation was gaining traction & the alcohol was doing its job. The techie jumped with the follow-up query, "Wealthy?" The lawyer questioned with a tilted head, "Really?" The techie declared, "I take that as a yes. So, what are you doing about it?" The irked lawyer stated, "I'm being professional. Either deflect or ignore the advances. I keep the client at bay on calls, emails & texts."

The techie did a bottom's up, munched on fish & questioned, "Was it a criminal case?" The lawyer was almost at the bottom of the stein & stated, "Nope. It was a civil case." The techie slammed the table & enquired, "What's the problem then? Go on a date." The lawyer groaned. "Oh, come on, I hoped you wouldn't say that." The techie articulated, "A good looking. Sorry. A hot, wealthy & single client who isn't a criminal. You are rejecting this profile! What hopes do I have for you?"

The lawyer responded, "The client is very polished, appearance & communication-wise. The client has a reputable background & is stinking rich. However, the behaviour towards the opponent in the case wasn't pleasant." The techie enunciated, "Oh, come on! Civil cases are mostly people's conflicts. Maybe the opponent irked or bothered your client. You don't need me to tell you that." The lawyer lit another cigarette & expressed, "The case was complicated & messy. It was the client who caused more trouble than the opponent. I was appalled by the absence of sense & sensibility in the client. I continued with the case as it was challenging & came from my boss's contact, otherwise would have dropped the case long ago." The techie groaned, "Why are law & you both so complicated?" The lawyer pronounced, "You don't get it. I've seen a wide variety of clients; this was something else. Grace under fire is the ultimate test of character." The techie retorted, "We are in Kali Yuga. Why are you bringing Treta Yuga into the picture?" A cigarette balanced precariously at the lawyer's lips & uttered, "What?" The techie replied, "Test of character under fire is Agni Parikshe from Ramayana." The lawyer laughed at the friend's interpretation of the statement.

No sooner did the lawyer attempt to explain than the waitress addressed them, "Ladies, Happy hours started. Would you like to order a pitcher?" The duo decided to stick to another round of pints & requested a food menu. Once the waitress left, the techie lit another cigarette. The techie enjoyed a drag & slowly let the smoke out. She leaned forward, "Where was I? Ah... What is the matter with you, girl? I'm asking you to go on a date with him & not marry." The lawyer expressed, "You don't know..." The techie barked, "What is it then? Don't tell me it's against the policy of your firm." The lawyer said, "No, they don't have a policy. He did not even have the sense to wait until the case was closed. I represented him in his divorce case."

Take Away:

• Do not seek or accept advice from a drunk friend.

• Sense & sensibility isn't everyone's cup of tea or pint of ale, so is common sense.